Nobody knows for sure what is going to happen Dec. 21. Not you, not me. And unfortunately, we’ll never know for sure if the ancient Mayans were actually on to something or too busy smoking peyote to finish their calendar.
So out of all the crazy things we’ve heard happen this year, how surprised would you be if California just so happened to take a cruise out west to kick it with Hawaii? Or a five-star general hunkered down in a bunker somewhere hit a big red button? Or if an incurable virus suddenly had us all dropping our Chipotle bags in favor of some organic brains?
We love the idea of end of the world scenarios. It’s no coincidence that shows like AMC’s “The Walking Dead” have become wildly popular. Not that long ago, Newsweek put together a map of a baker’s dozen of possible zombie-related incidents—and that was just for the month of May alone.
It is a fact that at some point in the future, our world will cease to exist as we know it. And nobody should know this better than Californians, as the landscape of our coastal state is constantly altered by mudslides, earthquakes and fires that strike without any warning.
If you’d prefer a more abstract explanation, I could argue that the world is constantly ending and beginning again. Find somebody 10 years older than you and listen to them talk about nonsense like cell phones that don’t take pictures or gas that costs a dollar.
So that’s why I don’t care what people say about planets crashing into planets, solar flares, or the ice caps melting and flooding the planet.
I know the end is coming. I don’t know if it will be here today, tomorrow, or Dec. 21. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it did.
So bring it on, zombies. Come at me, tidal waves. It doesn’t matter if it’s the Mayan Apocalypse, the alien apocalypse, or even just Tupacalypse. This writer is going to be ready.
Well, at least until the next one.