The chicken wars are back!

The Chicken Wars are back! But this time it’s not a war between chicken sandwiches. Been there, done that! The Chicken Wars will now be fought between the famous creations of American processed fast food…chicken nuggets! 

In this semester, fast food chains near Citrus College will go head-to-head in each issue of the Clarion with the grandmaster of Chicken (Clarion editor in chief Robert Davis) deciding on a winner and a loser based on rigorous scoring criteria.

Before we get into the main event, we have to lay down the law so no chicken war crimes will be committed this semester and each nugget will receive fair judging 

Nuggets will be judged on five individual categories where they will earn a score of 1-10 possible points. Those categories are crispness, juiciness, tenderness, flavor and sauce. 

Nuggets can also earn extra credit points when the judge (me) desires. Price, packaging and customer service will be taken into consideration when extra credit points are awarded. 

This competition is about quality, not quantity. So, the amount of nuggets ordered will be the smallest quantity available. 

Nuggets will be judged based on nuggets alone, meaning no combo meals. However, If dipping sauce is included with the order of nuggets, the sauce will be judged in the sauce category. 

If the order of nuggets comes with multiple different sauces, the average scores of all sauces will count for the amount of points awarded in the sauce category. 

The Chicken Nugget Wars official bracket consists of the same matchups seen in the chicken sandwich wars except for two changes. 

The first change in the bracket this semester is the drop out of Wendy’s due to mediocrity and a poor performance in the Chicken Sandwich Wars. Wendy’s will be replaced by the uniquely star-shaped nuggets from Carl’s Jr.

The second change is far more controversial. Chicken Sandwich wars runner-up Raising Canes has dropped out of the competition due to the fact that Canes doesn’t serve chicken nuggets. But, a formidable challenger has risen to the occasion, the famous… Dino “Nuggies” Nuggets! 

Dino Nuggets are not produced by a fast food chain, but to have a chicken nugget competition without the childhood favorite of children across America would be ridiculous in the eyes of the Grand Chicken Nugget Master (me).

With that out of the way, let’s dig in. 

Our first matchup is between the iconic McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets and the Jack in the Box chicken nuggets.

Last semester, The Cluck sandwich from Jack in the Box destroyed the McDonald’s crispy chicken sandwich in the first round, so this matchup has the potential for some sweet revenge.

In the crispness category, the McNuggets were passable but not great. These nuggets were not soggy by any means but they lacked a certain crunch factor. The breading was too thick and too moist to provide the necessary crispiness. However, the nuggets were still generally crispy, so they earned a 7.

The Jack in the Box nuggets were more of the same but the breading was much more thin, which allowed for the nuggets to have slightly more crunch. The Jack in the Box Nuggets earned a solid 8.

In the juiciness category, both nuggets left something to be desired. Although the Jack in the Box nuggets were slightly more juicy than the McNuggets, both were generally dry. The Jack in the Box nuggets, although being more juicy, almost had a slightly slimy texture to them that made me almost wish they were less juicy. As a result, both earned 4’s.

The McNuggets were surprisingly tender for how dry they were. The expected rubbery texture that plagues most chicken nuggets was not present in either. However, the dryness of the McNuggets prevented the tenderness from getting an exceedingly good score. The McNuggets passed with a 7. 

The Jack in the Box nuggets were slightly more tender than the McNuggets, but they did have a faint rubbery texture. The Jack in the Box nuggets earned a 7. 

The flavor category was an absolute blowout for the McNuggets. The nuggets tasted like Thanksgiving dinner and were absolutely delicious. It was hard to identify exactly what seasonings added to the McNuggets to make them taste the way they did, but whatever salty goodness was present deserved a 9. 

The same could not be said about the Jack in the Box nuggets as they didn’t taste especially good or bad. They tasted mostly just of nothing, which paired horribly with their sub-par texture. The Jack in the Box nuggets earn a sad 3.

The chosen McNuggets sauce was honey mustard, as I believed that it was the most popular out of all the nugget sauces McDonald’s offers. Although the honey mustard sauce was not my personal favorite, It definitely enhanced the nuggets and added some delicious sweet and savory flavors that paired well with the salty McNuggets. 

The only downside to the honey mustard was an unmistakable artificial taste that led me to believe that what I was eating was partially made of plastic. Nevertheless, the honey mustard sauce earns an 8.

The Jack in the Box nuggets came with two sauces. The first sauce selected was the Good Good sauce, which was chosen due to its uniqueness to Jack in the Box. The second was ranch as it is arguably the most widely available dipping sauce and thus evened out the scarcity of the Good Good sauce for an even playing field. 

The Good Good sauce performed great last semester in the Cluck chicken sandwich but was way too strong to be an effective nugget dipping sauce. The Good Good sauce in this context was bad-bad, as it felt like it was competing with the flavor of the nuggets and not adding to it. The Good Good sauce earns a 4.

The ranch was easily the best performing thing in the entire nugget battle. It was rich and creamy and flavorful and surprisingly, It didn’t taste artificial at all. Although it definitely wasn’t, the ranch somehow tasted fresh, which was something the nuggets absolutely needed. The ranch sauce earns a 9, bringing the Jack in the Box sauce score up to a 6.5.

Jack in the Box earned a well-deserved extra point for its price as the 10-piece nuggets at Jack in the Box were only 1$ more than the four-piece McNugget meal. 

That brings the official chicken nugget wars scores to 28.5 for the Jack in the Box chicken nuggets and 35 for McDonald’s McNuggets. This places the McNuggets into the second round of the chicken dinner wars and Jack in the Box falls into the pit of chicken nugget despair!

In this battle, McDonald’s stated some sweet honey mustard flavored revenge. Watch out for the next battle where Louisiana’s Popeyes and Kentucky’s finest, KFC, face off yet again.